Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus. blog comments powered by Disqus Ceazar Salad: Times of extreme danger

Monday, September 27, 2010

Times of extreme danger

I'm highly armed nowadays. Why? is the question that I've addressed in the following post, followed with the answer. Before anything else, remember, prevention is always better than cure.

I'm typing this post instead of the usual comic strip (another one is on it's way) because I'm scared. I'm scared because a certain deadly breed of fangirls is expanding it's tentacles at an alarmingly fast rate. Their number is on the rise, and with each passing day, they only become more merciless and nasty. They've struck this safe haven like a terminal, malignant disease, and no one is safe anymore.

No, I'm not talking about twitards (even though I'd love to). I'm talking about a new breed of fangirls. Most of these fangirls were born 3 years ago, and more recently, alot more joined the herd. This breed finds it's roots in the origins of cannibalism. But ofcourse, they sit on a different tangent of cannibalism. Cannibals feed on the flesh of other human beings, but this race feeds on the brains of other human beings. They rip your brain apart, and devour it's contents like vampires devour human blood. In this case, however, you don't die. You're simply left devoid of any brain in your skull. Left alone to suffer in excruciating pain. They also have a tendency to become extremely zealous fanatics, and do not like to hear anything bad about something they've taken a liking to.

Yes, they're none other than the KSG/KaJen fangirls. You see, KSG is your indian Robert pattinson. Hardcore fangirls should be known as 'Grove'yards (or graveyards). I haven't been intimidated by any breed of fangirls in my life. Until this one came along. Considering how cynical I am about, well, everything, I tend to speak my mind about the things I condemn. Alas, I didn't know how big of a fatal risk it was to condemn Karan Singh Grover. Umpteenth number of extremely dangerous attacks came my way over the next few days, including physical assult, verbal abuse and emotional torture. Since then, I've been rather careful about what I say about this psuedo-greek god.

In my cyber-dictionary, they're known as the 'Grovannibals'

Just when I had started to think that the fever was beginning to die out, a new dimension was added to this group of fangirls, known as the 'KaJen' fangroup. Now, what can I say about this fangroup? They're even more evolved cannibals, because not only are they dangerous, but they're also delusional and schizophrenic. They're extremely sure of things that don't exist, of events that have never happened (and probably never will), and turn into fanatics based on this presumptuous judgement. They fight and battle with others based on their assumptions, draw parallels with famous history personalities based on their assumptions, and ofcourse, devour brain material based on their assumptions.

There is one interesting aspect to this fangroup, though. They're strong believers of the word 'forever'. They believe, that whatever they take a liking to, must last forever. There must be something that makes it immortal, lengendary. Now, how different people define 'forever' is highly subjective, but normal people know better than to refute the arguement of one of these fangirls. Everyone wants their brain to be steady and safe on their heads.

I call them, 'Kajennibals'

Lastly, I want to end this post with a warning: If you see a grovannibal or a kajennibal anywhere, then please call 911 (for US) and 100 (for India) as soon as possible. We must understand that this breed of maneaters is, by far, the most fatal one. It's not safe to be in their vicinity, unless you strictly adhere to their rules and regulations, and ofcourse, fandoms. They're found in extremely high concentration in the DMG, S&M forum-cum-jungle. Normal people are requested to maintain a distance of atleast 200 metres.

Thankyou very much for reading this post. I hope it cleared certain points, and made you all aware.


  1. Awww, u getting stalked by groveyards? :O Dont worry, you always have your 'un-phorever-ians' to protect you ;D

  2. OMGGGGGGG Hahahahahahahha!! Neetz I LOVE,LOVE,LOVE this post of yours. Rofl rofl!! So,so true!! Especially the "deluded schizophrenic" part. Man,these fangirls(hahaha love the word btw) would do anything to make their day dreams true *rolls eyes*
    The ksg part was soooooo true. It's like he's reached some demi God status or something :| anyway,thoroughly enjoyed it!!
    Thanks for the warning about the grovyards/grovannibals and kajennibals ;-)

    Keep writing,pleaseeeeee!! I look forward to your comic strips daily :)


  3. rofl!!! loved it!

  4. hahah ... 'Grovannibals'n kajennibals singinng a forever song is no shock to me ......lets see wat n how long their forever is going to last as per the rumors da main reason (dmg)is endinng soon ...god knows wat will dey sing after that ...
    an awesome post reflects the current condition of dmg forum forever society very beautifully

  5. Grovannibals & Kajennibals. LOL

    You would think that since they devour brain matter their own logic and judgments would reflect that but alas, it must all just turn into love handles ;p

    Love this Neetz.


  6. Ha ha Grovannibals and Kejennibals ROFL..hardcore fans of KSG should be known as "groveyards" graveyrads.....ah ha ha ROFL......this is toooo good Neetz......loved it....bach ke rehna re baba from Grovannibals and Kajennibals.....yeah they eats up your brains not any other physical part LOL

  7. @akansha - yea man, the 'unforever' gang will always be more powerful! because even though we have our brains eaten by these cannabils, we have extra ordinary reasoning skills :D

    @ananya - yep, these phangurls will do nearly anything to see their wet dreams come alive *gasp* - I can't imagine the kind of desperate state they're in.

    Haha, the names were a spur of the moment thing. it came to me like 'bang!' - and I knew they were the perfect names ;) although grover can also be translated into 'gober' haha. thanks for commenting!

    @farah - thanks! :D

  8. @Roz - they devour our brain matter, and it actually gets digested into specialized proteins called the 'smartass proteins', but by the time blood carrying these proteins reaches their brain, it already gets converted into a pile of mushy goo. so what their brain finally gets is just another load of mush. I guess their immune system is designed in such a way that any 'sense' entering the body is automatically annihilated.

    @paro - haha seriously yaar, bach ke rehna. warna mare jaoge. these a-holes don't leave anybody.

  9. LOL ..yep both groups are crazy and always dream ...


    U know Grovannibals and Kajennibals will be reading this post of urs right? And aren't u glad they will be?:D

    P.S. i like kajars's easier to type. I had to copy n paste 'Grovannibals and Kajennibals' lol..

  11. You're so effing hilarious, it makes my life. How oh HOW do I get to be so "wise" as you? I've come across these so called "KaJennibals" but they didn't seem to give off the impression you gave. Nonetheless, I think I need to call you a psychiatrist and get you checked. It's oh so effing hilarious to read your comments. I bow down to your bullshit. It's a great job to be as effing INTELLIGENT and AWARE as you.

    PS. Your KSG/KaJen jokes are getting old. Try some new ones on SIDPA. The "hawt" and "happening" couple. Ya know you likeeeeeeeeeeee 'em ;)

  12. And Silpa's Angels are ermmm...... DELUDED babe <3

    Nice to know you have time to write essays on this, 1 piece of advice, you might wanna spend this much time on something in your REAL LIFE. Cos babe, we 'Kajennibals' as you so nicely called, know that it's a show.

    P.S Glad to know KSG governs your mind that you needed a vent outlet to make a blog post on him

    Kay Good Day,

    P.S - We realize how much you love us all and spend so much time talking about us and our favorites. But serious, that's not normal. Get help! :)

  13. ROFLLLLLL DAMN you must be having some fking free time on your hands to be analyzing "KaJennibals" But ERM everything that you said yeah, clearly refers to KASHIT fangirls :) Who HATE KSG yeah and love Shonapie more, and then OMG SHILPA COMES IN DMG :| So we LOVE "KASH"--we love ARSE!!lets show some FAKE KASH LOVE YEAH! And then SHILPAS A VICTIM AGAIN BY THE PH (for the upteenth time *yawns*) so wait, WE HATE GROWHORE AND ALL THIS BULLSHIT CLAIMING TO BE FKING LOYAL KASH FANS! OH GET A FRIGGING LIFE!

    Thats the life story of KaShit fans :) WHO HATE KSG TO THE CORE, but ADORE THE QUEEN SHILPA and want ARSE TO HAPPEN IN DMG at whateva costs!!

    So before showing YOUR perspective on KaJennnibals, go show your fakeness for KaShits OH AND SHOW SOME SHILPA ANAND FAKE LOVE TOO!:) since you consider yourself OH SO INTELLEGENT!MUAHHHHHHHHHH!

  14. O.M.G

    the kajennibals have made my blog so phamous! jeez, you really didn't have to comment here guys. I'm in a good mood today, so I'm not going to be deleting your bullshit posts. you just helped me earn a few dollars, thanks a bunch! :D

  15. oh btw amna, I had expected this. haha, these folks just prove my theory right ;) they stalked the damn link in my siggy box. claim it's nothing personal, when it's nothing but that. dumbasses. lol.



  18. Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Hilarious post!! Loved it!! Kajennibles and the Grovannibles are pissed though. They certainly have a knack of butting in where they aren't wanted. The scum of the dmg forum seems to be littering your blog as well :O
    And they do have a nasty vocab/temper to match their lack of brain cells.
    Anyway,do keep writing :)

  19. I am a loyal KaJen fan, and I`m not angry to see this post, but I`m sad and shocked to see the extent one can go!!

    You are a fan of Shilpa Anand and KSG-Shilpa together, right? Didn`t you, along with all your friends continuously made a lot of people`s lives as hell until SA was brought back? Wasn`t Sukirti Khandpal bashed like anything just because she replaced Shilpa Anand? Wasn`t Sukirti`s life made hell by you guys? Wasn`t she bashed from her head to toe every single day?

    Aren`t you the same people who are making fan club on Facebook demanding KSG and Shilpa as a real life couple? aren`t you guys the same who want to play a cupid to get them married in real life? Aren`t you the same guys who are spreading the cheapest rumors possible in the name of "Praising and supporting your angel?"
    Aren`t you guys the ones who are forgetting the differnce between the characters and actors, and humanities and illness, and talking craps
    against some actors just because you guys didn`t get what you expected?

    Now tell me, who is the biggest danger to this society? Yes, we all have the rights to hate/love, but hatred to such extent to someone whom you don`t even know personally is beyond sadness and beyond undertsanding to me. Like you guys, KaJen fans also want to see their favorite couple together. When you guys can dream and demand for it, why can`t we? When you guys can ask and day dream a nice and may be hot scene between your couple, then why can`t we??

    I`m not as good as you are with words, and I don`t knwo how to use such big big words, but I`m clear cut with my views even with my limited understanding!
    If you are really worried about an epidemic, then the foremost thing you would need to do is to teach some morals to yourself and to all your friends!

  20. HA HA HA Hilarious post Neetz
    Liked the Grovannibals and Kajennibal theory LMAOOOO
    n OMG they r even stalking u,...O gal u hav become PHAMOUS...<333
    Dont worry we are here for u PHOREVER...<333

    Great Post !!

  21. @Anonymous Kajen fan- look the Kajen fans started with abusing Shilpa,her fans,her family and even her dog. Also,I don't care about what ksg does in his private life or who he picks. We didn't bash nicole,ever. We bash jw coz u guys bash Shilpa,link her with random people like wahi. Ppl on the forum make brainless posts just to bash Shilpa.
    So instead of preaching here,go preach to dhwani,remz,anita,gia etc. Oh and you guys are also downright NASTY to KaSh fans and mock them incessantly. Your pals aren't as innocent. If such comments hurt u,the ones by ur fellow Kajenians hurt us MORE.
    You guys stop,we stop. Simple.

  22. @anonymous:
    The first was started by you guys. Jennifer was bashed way too badly on facebook. Hateclubs were made and are still made on her. There was and i guess is no hate club on Shilpa Anand. Now that you guys spread the cheapest possible rumors ever on Jennifer, do you think Shilpa Anand should alone be praised?
    Of course, when her fans themsleves claim that Shilpa`s mom told them about the rumors, a question mark would arise!

    I wish I was Gautam Buddha who could preach, but as I`m not, I`m not preahcing here. I`m just stating the fact. I don`t deny the fact that Shilpa Anand is bashed. Personally, I disliked her ever since I kenw her, but I never spoke ill about her until I found out about the disgusting things Shilpa Anand`s fans "Chat" about Jennifer. Have you seen anyone spreading rumor saying Shilpa Anand slept with someone? No, right? The only point she has been bashed about is how she came back to DMG after saying it`s a clsoed chapter for her!she has never been bahsed in the disgustign way Jennifer has been. Just put yourslef in Jennifer`s shoe or may be even her parent`s shoe and think how much would you be hurt when such cheap rumor would be spread about you! Just imagine what a hard time and feeling you`d go through!!!

    Noone can like everyone, but the line of humanity should be taken care of by everyone before they talk nonsense about some actors because alll those actors are humans like you and me, who can feel, who can see, who can hear, and who breathe!

  23. @anonymous Kajen- this is what I called selective "seeing". Dude there are many hate clubs of Shilpa on FB. And what about this "WaSh" crap started by your "oh so virtuous" fellow Kajens? What about KaShit crap? Are u seriously blind to the flaws of ur friends? First clean that shit up n then talk to KaShians
    Oh and we didn't spread rumours about winget sleeping with anyone. There were articles about it so go sue the press.
    And dude u openly say u dislike Shilpa so ur opinion doesn't matter.

    AND BEFORE YOU COMMENT ON THIS BLOG, what about the highly offensive one started by Manpreet Bhandal in which she made snide comments about Shilpa?
    You seriously are biased and come here pretending to be virtuous. Disgusting!!
    And PS I say I spoke to the queen of england,will u believe me? How about NOT taking everything people say so seriously? Mrs. Anand has way better things to do than talk about jw coz winget's not that important.

  24. Love this one Neeta....beautiful...ROFL

    wohoo the banana girls are here..aww may be their banana is busy wid someone...

  25. certain useless comments have been deleted. there is a sophisticated way of abusing, kajennibals. didn't you learn anything from this post?

  26. Banana girls r polluting ur blog neetz. And they don't even have the 'bananas' to write their real names. All r anonymous.....

    U ROCK. U said a comic strip is on it's way? Post it jaldi...

  27. lol, exactly amna. they're all 'banana-less' girls who can do nothing except of shouting and screaming.

  28. Oh btw this is officially the highest number of comments u got on any entry. Congo. U owe it to banana-less girls....Now be a good girl and thank them

  29. Haha. okay. *slips into speech mode* dearest banana less girls, thankyou so much for making this post a hit hit! I owe you one. you all rock! :D

  30. Neetz..this is awesome..wonderful...
    u are so talented
    grovernibals..kajenibals..ROFL *whistles* *claps*


  31. Neetz ...tusi chha gaye ho ji...haww people are coming stalking you here ?? TRPs of your blog on the rise........CONGO!!! :D

  32. hey i din like that 'Grovannibals' thingy...
    cause ima hard core KSG n shilpa fan..
    BUT im doing philmy ishtyle 'nazar andaaz'..
    cuse the rest parts wher hilarious:D

    BW your blog is PHAMUS neetz..
    bw im that IF 'cupid-struck'

  33. when you guys openly call them "kajars", then how cna you expect to get respected? ye,s sbs made a mistake but you all knew it`s KaJen, when you guys get hurt with KaShit, then KaJen fans also get hurt with KaJar. And really? Can you post the link to such article?? I haven`t got a chance to see or read it as of yet. And neither does Ms. Winget have time to conspire against sa coz anand isn`t important!

    I thought, for once you guys will understand and stop all this crap, but I guess it was my fault to even think so! Carry on but don`t forget, "Good deeds never leave home, but bad deeds echo a thousand miles".

    Btw I`d like to read the article which talks such crap. Would appreciate if you could post the link of it here!

  34. dont talk about biasedness to me when you all fking biased about "shonapie"..Shes always right! WE SHOULD bow down to her cause she deservs the ass!

    fact is people dont love her like pagals as you all do! i have some straight up evidence from "shonapie" bashing other actors! so whatever, cut the drama with me!

    YOU GIVE respect, you get it!

    miss neeta here loves to publicize her blogs in her dabba since no one reads culdn't hlp but come

  35. and hold up! gt the facts right! no article mentioned jw sleeping with anyone so shut yo crap up okay!

    its not too good to be blind to your fav actress sa, cause shes said shit about others too whether your obsessed self believes it or not..

    just be sad that Ka--SH didn't happen :( bo hoo!and now im done entertaining you all! :D

  36. It's hilarious to think that you all actually LOVED KSG once upon a time and bashed Sukirti and Jennifer like there was no tomorrow. You'd think people would mature and quit hating on people, but unfortunately it's my mistake to think people learn from the past and realizing fighting over jodi's is pure bakwaas.

    As much as I love JW and KSG, and KaJen, I think it's absolutely HORRIBLE for people to bash such a couple. IDC whether you like 'em or not, you don't sit there taking your time to BASH. Why not appreciate the ones you love instead? If you guys commented in the KaSh heaven as much as you did here, maybe your AT wouldn't be stuck at the same pace for the past 4 days.

    Nonetheless, by hating on a jodi just because they're at the top, doesn't mean that you're cool, really. Hate all you want - but cuss at the CV's if you all have a problem. THEY brought in Jenni to play the role of Ridhima, and if you all have a problem with that, why not Boycott it like you all said you would? Instead you sit and watch KaJen scenes and give DMG TRP's and then bash KaJen, how hopeless.

    Try to find a new hobby instead of making blogs dedicated to KaJen...

  37. ^Listen you a-hole, be thankful that I'm not deleting your bullshit posts here. you want to abuse me? go ahead, there's no stopping you. but if you cross the line, it won't take me a minute to press that delete button, like I did for one of your friends here.

  38. @taste of reality - blog dedicated to KaJen? LMFAO =)) have you even read the previous posts? you need a 'taste of reality' yourself.

  39. oh wow aunty dara rahi haan! mujhe daar lag raha hai :( KOI BACHAOOOOOOOO --sike ..its okay, delete all you want cause im done giving you attention

  40. ^lol, why did you in the first place?

  41. This blog is particularly dedicated to BASHING KaJen, my bad in specifying the blog type. You didn't exemplify a single reason for how I was wrong, I guess I was right. Anyways, I'm off of this blog post. Peace, Ceazar Salad.

  42. ^okay, if that's what makes you happy (:






  44. Why are all KaJen and KaSh fans still hell bent on praising that actor cum god? That fucking piece of shit deserves NO fans. Neither SA is a goodness nor is JW although at least SA isn't a whore like JW =)

  45. Phew I made it to this one finally.

    Okay oddly enough, the first thing I noticed about this post was how well you write as opposed to the message being sent across. The way you have expressed your feelings, i.e. hatred, for a KaJen, KSG, and their fans, is really good prose. It makes it seem like you're writing the text for a documentary. Plus you've even added precautionary measures.

    Now your post was fun to read, but more than the post I loved the comments. It's another KaSh versus KaJen battleground here. I think I'm supposed to be offended by some comments, but I'm not. Rather I enjoyed reading all the KaSh bashing ones, especially names like Silpa Wahi and KaShits.

    I think you've made a lot of friends and gained a lot of publicity through this post. I hear Ceazar Salad is quite famous now.

    P.S. Not naming myself...hopefully you can guess who I am.

  46. nice post girl. ROFL!!
    like the names you gave them Grovanibals & Kajeninnbals ROFL.
    Kajar muahaha.( idk why they get pissed off about that)? guys used to bash my suku? why? she my fav!

    anyways....i hate JENNIFER WINGET! shes nothing but fuckin whore who likes to suck on KSG's balls 24/7.

    (btw....there was a article about the whore whore-ing/sleeping around w. others....can i read the article if you guys have it?

  47. Neetz, this particularly blog entry of yours *read: the comments* gave me AWESOME entertainment for the past 10 minutes or so :D what pure fun this is :P and way to go for the kind of stuff you write...brilliant way for representing your mind :D cheeers!


  48. HAhahaa..well firstly i just loved this whole post of yours..very informative of course :))

    And Yes..i certainly agree with all the symptoms/points u mentioned abt the species..

    Though i havnt been perosnally attacked yet./..oh i have definitely faced it all as a group..

    Oh well i dont want to go any deeper thinking about the species..coz obviously even thinking about it eats my peace of mind and piece of brain :P


    Good work..sharing it lessens ur worry and causes others to take precautions =))