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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Logic kicked by Magic!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Latest update on the LP-virus outbreak!

The latest update in the LP-virus outbreak is that now it has reached an advanced level, which is being deemed as 'incurable' by the remaining normal human beings. It has been observed that even though the 'love' solution concentrated the progressive flow of this virus, it could not completely eradicate it. It has been over a year since the outbreak, and the virus, as reckoned by the scientists, seems to be some sort of self-mutilating, advanced virus which transforms itself into an even more lethal version once it reaches the saturation point of the previous one.

And this current stage, is not only scary, but it is also bloodcurdling, cadaverous and spine-chilling. The Adam of this advanced species of mutants, Mr. Karan Singh Grover, is touted as the ultimate god and higher power by his ardent followers, namely the LP-virus infected mutants. They worship him as if he is their Jesus Christ and wear a cross that has 'being horny is a holy activity. Amen' engraved on it. Hence, they could not tolerate it when an objective and rational human being condemned his tendency to promote the 'usage of women-mutants as sex objects'. The virus, which was still in between the previous and the following stage, rapidly leaped towards the following stage after this incident, and mutants reached their ultimate phase of viciousness.

They tortured her in every way possible. Punished her brutally, destroyed her house and work place, and did many other indescribable things. They, however, did not bite her. They wanted her to feel torture as a human. In spite of inflicting such horrific torture upon her, they were not satisfied. They cried tears of their infected blood in front of a holy shrine dedicated to their god, and decided that their vengeance was not yet over. 

They came together and revived a previously dormant underground group called 'lord's personal servants', which is essentially dedicated to preserving and protecting their lord's honor. Currently, they're in the process of constructing a new plan to get that woman completely wiped off from the face of Earth. What that plan entails, who all are a part of it, when is it going to be executed - are questions that still remain unanswered. 

The revelation of this new face of the virus has shocked everyone. Just when people thought that nothing could be worse, the mutants sprouted themselves into an even worse species. Survival is becoming harder and harder with each passing day for the normal humans. They're constantly shifting base to keep themselves protected from the mutants, who now are equipped with A-class weaponry and arms. We suspect that Jennifer, aka the eve of this species, is funding their rapid development. After KSG was accidentally killed by a human, she went completely underground and no one has been able to find her ever since. Since these mutants cannot die until and unless their heads are chopped off, Jennifer managed to live since no one knows where she is.

Lastly, I'd like to wish that woman good luck, because her words have also signed her own death warrant. The mutants are extremely powerful and dangerous, and I wonder how long will it be before they kill her off too. Please watch your back everyone, it's getting worse, but the human race shall survive.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


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p.s - the blue thing is armaan's drool ;p

p.p.s - the credit for the 'apocalypse' idea goes to seert (;

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Cure to the deadliest virus found!

I'm sure all my folks must have read the article about DMG ending with AR re-union. Needless to say, I am absolutely thrilled and esctatic. My happiness knows no bounds, and I'm wating for them to get married with bated breath. The moment the article came out, my heart jumped with joy and tears formed in my eyes. The only word I could think of at that moment was - finally.

Yes, friends, finally. Finally the two Lovephoreberovirus (shortened form: LP virus) infected mutants will get together and leave the world alone. I suppose Freud's theory about the entiry humanity being based upon latent sexual urges holds true in this case. You see, A-1 (which is the code name for mutant armaan) and R-1 (which is the code name for mutant ridhima) realized that they still had feelings for each other by getting physically intimate for a few moments. Their latent sexual urges re-surfaced and voila! love is there, right there for you, amis.

You know all those gory films about humans changing into mutants because of change in the DNA structure due to some catastrophe? For eg - Resident Evil, species, hills have eyes etc etc, I think those directors need to watch DMG. They will realize how easy it is to make their protagonists combat the genetically altered mutants - just make them fall in love with each other, and then make them have sex! soon, they will get married and live in their own sweet little world. Humanity shall be saved!

So, the conclusion here is that the directors of DMG made the right decision by getting A-1 and R-1 married. If this experiment works, then I'd request the state governments of all those states in which this virus is even scarcely spread, to take the same action. I've seen victims of this virus show extreme symptoms on a forum called the Dill Mill Gayye forum. Since A-1 and R-1 are the very first mutants to get married, they are displaying their appreciation and consent by flooding the forum with celebration threads, cadbury dairymilk threads, and are even opening topics to discuss things like - what rings shall be exchanged, which ceremony shall happen first, and what dress shall R-1 wear!

Consdering that this is the first time that the LP-virus infected mutants have displayed any form of happiness and self-control, I'd request the directors of DMG to wed A-1 and R-1 very soon, and the state governments to follow suit as soon as possible. These mutants cannot be tamed by some extra-ordinary anti-virus, they can only be tamed by one thing - love.

I am extremely happy to know that finally, a ray of hope has been ignited. Maybe we will finally be able to get completely rid of the LP-virus, and can stop it from spreading and infecting other humans any further.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Times of extreme danger

I'm highly armed nowadays. Why? is the question that I've addressed in the following post, followed with the answer. Before anything else, remember, prevention is always better than cure.

I'm typing this post instead of the usual comic strip (another one is on it's way) because I'm scared. I'm scared because a certain deadly breed of fangirls is expanding it's tentacles at an alarmingly fast rate. Their number is on the rise, and with each passing day, they only become more merciless and nasty. They've struck this safe haven like a terminal, malignant disease, and no one is safe anymore.

No, I'm not talking about twitards (even though I'd love to). I'm talking about a new breed of fangirls. Most of these fangirls were born 3 years ago, and more recently, alot more joined the herd. This breed finds it's roots in the origins of cannibalism. But ofcourse, they sit on a different tangent of cannibalism. Cannibals feed on the flesh of other human beings, but this race feeds on the brains of other human beings. They rip your brain apart, and devour it's contents like vampires devour human blood. In this case, however, you don't die. You're simply left devoid of any brain in your skull. Left alone to suffer in excruciating pain. They also have a tendency to become extremely zealous fanatics, and do not like to hear anything bad about something they've taken a liking to.

Yes, they're none other than the KSG/KaJen fangirls. You see, KSG is your indian Robert pattinson. Hardcore fangirls should be known as 'Grove'yards (or graveyards). I haven't been intimidated by any breed of fangirls in my life. Until this one came along. Considering how cynical I am about, well, everything, I tend to speak my mind about the things I condemn. Alas, I didn't know how big of a fatal risk it was to condemn Karan Singh Grover. Umpteenth number of extremely dangerous attacks came my way over the next few days, including physical assult, verbal abuse and emotional torture. Since then, I've been rather careful about what I say about this psuedo-greek god.

In my cyber-dictionary, they're known as the 'Grovannibals'

Just when I had started to think that the fever was beginning to die out, a new dimension was added to this group of fangirls, known as the 'KaJen' fangroup. Now, what can I say about this fangroup? They're even more evolved cannibals, because not only are they dangerous, but they're also delusional and schizophrenic. They're extremely sure of things that don't exist, of events that have never happened (and probably never will), and turn into fanatics based on this presumptuous judgement. They fight and battle with others based on their assumptions, draw parallels with famous history personalities based on their assumptions, and ofcourse, devour brain material based on their assumptions.

There is one interesting aspect to this fangroup, though. They're strong believers of the word 'forever'. They believe, that whatever they take a liking to, must last forever. There must be something that makes it immortal, lengendary. Now, how different people define 'forever' is highly subjective, but normal people know better than to refute the arguement of one of these fangirls. Everyone wants their brain to be steady and safe on their heads.

I call them, 'Kajennibals'

Lastly, I want to end this post with a warning: If you see a grovannibal or a kajennibal anywhere, then please call 911 (for US) and 100 (for India) as soon as possible. We must understand that this breed of maneaters is, by far, the most fatal one. It's not safe to be in their vicinity, unless you strictly adhere to their rules and regulations, and ofcourse, fandoms. They're found in extremely high concentration in the DMG, S&M forum-cum-jungle. Normal people are requested to maintain a distance of atleast 200 metres.

Thankyou very much for reading this post. I hope it cleared certain points, and made you all aware.